The first day of the rest of my life

Thirteen days ago on the 20th June 2011 my whole world came crashing down around me. My life will never be the same and i feel like i can't breathe from the pain of losing my baby boy. Sam was 16 years 40 weeks and 1 day old when he died. As i write this i am crying because i didn't have him long enough, i want him back and i can't make it happen. I don't know how to deal with this, i don't know what to do, nobody has the answers and its just not fair! I loved him so much and it is too much to bear thinking that i will never see my beautiful boys face again. I know i will survive but today i wish i hadn't. I don't know why i am writing this except maybe i am hoping that by writing this down i will somehow be able to get the pain out and start breathing again.